Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Sad and Stressed



Greg's dad passed away this morning.  He had gotten increasingly confused and restless since last Thursday and the doctor had prescribed several medications to calm him down that ended up having the opposite effect. Late last night, the night nurse that had been sent to watch over him so Greg's mom could rest spoke with the doctor and they decided to admit him at the hospital because he hadn't slept in 24 hours.

Once at the hospital, they noticed that his blood pressure had dropped to 75 and that his breathing was very shallow and told the family to brace themselves for the end.  This morning, Greg got the news that his dad had passed away. Sadly, his mom had gone home for a little bit and he passed away 20 minutes before she got back to the hospital.

Greg was at work when he got the news. I had suggested he stay home today but he needed to do something, as he felt very helpless since we have that hurricane coming so he cannot leave until after that's over. He texted me while I was grocery shopping this morning (went today to try to beat the crowds of people stocking up for the hurricane) and then we talked.  He's going to leave work early today to come home but. as a manager, he needed to take care of several things since their workplace more than likely will be closed on Thursday and Friday.

Our son is coming home in a few minutes and it falls to me to let him know. He's a very stoic boy so I don't expect a lot of exterior grief being on display.

I'm not close to Greg's family.  I was, at a time, but we had our differences and I decided to not continue having a relationship with them because I didn't need the stress.  However, I sent flowers from all of us here to my mother-in-law, to be delivered tomorrow. I would imagine that she will be very busy today, trying to figure out all the paperwork, funeral arrangements, etc.

It's almost a good thing that the hurricane is coming, it will keep Greg busy.  He's hoping to catch a flight this weekend to go back to Ohio, but we're bracing ourselves for a lot of flight disturbances on the East coast so we're not sure what we'll happen.

I'm stressing about the hurricane.  I decided to go shopping today and ended up buying way more things than we needed because I also needed something to occupy myself and shopping it was.  Middle Son lives near Daytona Beach, which is right now in the direct path of the hurricane, so I emailed him this morning and suggested that he comes here tomorrow because it will be safer here inland than near the coast.  I haven't heard back from him.  Hopefully the schools will close on Thursday and Friday  but right now our school district is simply "monitoring the storm".  My daughter was wanting to drive to her dad's in East Orlando on Thursday but I told her this morning that I didn't want her to since his house is closer to where the hurricane is supposed to hit than ours and I don't want her driving in bad weather.

I'm monitoring the storm closely too, of course. I've made a list of tasks to accomplish and I'll do those tomorrow and Thursday.  We have items to secure in the yard, lanterns to recharge, etc.  We got gas for our generator last night and we also have propane.  I have batteries and I got cash this morning.  We have lots of non-perishable food and cat litter and cat food.  We also have a lot of perishable food so that generator will be helpful if we need it. I also got more mosquito repellent with DEET.  The waiting is the worst part and then worrying about friends and family too.

So we're all stressed down here at my house.  Well, the adults are.  I need to remember to try to be even-keeled on the outside so the kids and pets don't get their stress from me.

If you're in the storm's path, please be safe.

22 comments:

  1. Thinking of you and Greg's family during this trying time. Death is never easy...not even when it is anticipated or expected. We went through the same thing with my husband's dad so I understand how you feel helpless to help Greg through this. Good luck with the hurricane as well. Hopefully it won't impact you greatly. Take care...

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    1. Thanks, TrayceeBee, we appreciate that. Hopefully Matthew will weaken or go back out to sea before it reaches CT.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear about Greg's Dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. It's hard. We lost both my husband's parents this year, 6 weeks apart. He still has many moments when "it" gets to him. I just try to be there for him and I'm sure you will do the same for Greg. My love to you all!

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    1. Thanks, Mia. I can't imagine the loss your husband (and you!) must have felt when you lost both his parents 6 weeks apart. It takes a long time to get over someone's death. I'm still mourning my stepmom and it's going to be 3 years this coming January.

      Greg's on his way home now and he sounds very gloomy, of course. I'm sure he beats himself up for coming back on Sunday; He thought his dad would last longer and he could go back to see him after the hurricane had gone by.

      Thankfully, his dad passed without being in intolerable pain, as we feared he would. He had discomfort, for sure, but at no time was he on strong painkillers. He visited with his children last week, got to meet with 2 great grandchildren born earlier this year and his newest granddaughter born just barely a month ago. So, for this, we're thankful.

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  3. I am so sorry to hear about Greg's dad. Hope you guys can breathe a little easier knowing he is not suffering anymore. Hope you guys stay safe with the hurricane coming. Please keep us updated as you can. Hugs from Texas, Becky

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    1. Thanks so much, Becky. Greg thanks you as well.

      We keep hoping Matthew will stop drifting to the West but so far it's proven contrary. A lot of people are going to be affected by this one. SC just ordered 1 million people to evacuate!

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  4. Nathalie, my deepest sympathies on the loss of Greg's father. It's always hard when the end comes, even when it is anticipated; it always seems to happen when least expected. I'm sure Greg feels conflicted about not being there when his father passed away, but I hope he finds comfort in the knowledge that he was there earlier, when his father was aware of him being there.

    I hope that the hurricane doesn't cause any damage and will veer off before it reaches Florida. I hope your Middle Son won't be affected and you won't have any problems, either. It sounds like you are as prepared as you possibly can be. Please keep us updated, as and when you can, because we are all worried about you.

    Take care and be safe.

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    1. Thank you, Bless. I think the full impact of his dad's death hasn't hit him yet. They were close. He feels a little adrift. He did so much for them recently and now his mom said it real wasn't necessary for him to go next week but he still feels that he should, for some reason. I think maybe his mom needs to be alone for a while? She's been dealing with his dad's illness for the past 2 years.

      But for now Matthew has to be our focus as it continues to inch westward. I have made a lot of preparations, but today will be spent making sure the house and the yard are ready. I just hope it's all for nothing.

      Take care, cancer survivor!

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about Greg's dad :-( You all keep very safe down there and I hope it doesn't get too bad and that he'll be able to get a flight out this weekend.

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    1. Thank you, Jess. There's not much for him to do over there. His mom has already started contacting places to donate medical supplies they no longer need, and I think that by the time he could get there next week, most of what needed to be done will have been done. So we're not sure if he'll go back before Thanksgiving. We'll have to see what the situation is for his mom and also for us after the hurricane has gone by. October just got started! I just hope we don't get 4 hurricanes in a row like we did in 2005.

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  6. Not sure my comment went through so I wanted to say again sorry for your loss.you came to mind when I was watching the news about the hurricane. I hope you guys are all safe. So glad I've never had to experience that.

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    1. Thanks, Theresa. I didn't see a previous comment but I've been a little discombobulated so maybe I missed it.

      I always think that I'm happy that at least we get plenty of warnings for hurricanes, unlike earthquakes, etc. but this is very stressful. I can't imagine what the people from Haiti feel right now. They've really been battered these past few years. My friend's daughter volunteered in Haiti this summer, I expect she'll be doing that a lot more over the next few months.

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  7. I am very sorry for your families loss Nathalie

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  8. I am sorry to hear about all that Greg and your family is going through right now. It is a lot to loose someone and my thoughts are with you. I hope that everything is going well with the weather down there and that things settle down. My mother in law is actually out of town right now and I normally get my weather information from her but they say that a lot of towns on the east coast are evacuating already. I am not looking forward to the aftermath of yet again another horrible storm but I wish you all the best at your house and will be sending lots of good thoughts your way.

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    1. Thanks Alison. I hope your MIL stays safe. If she lives on the East coast, it might be a while before she can come home. Yes, they're evacuating a lot of people. Middle Son just made it to his dad's, he drove from Daytona Beach (his dad lives in East Orlando, still too close to the center of the hurricane for my taste but I guess he didn't want to come here) and he said all the gas stations everywhere were out of gas. Ours in town are too! I'm glad he made it there OK, he said his gas light came on right as he was leaving Daytona because, of course, he's 20 and knows better than to listen to his mom who'd been warning him to gas up his car YESTERDAY. Arrrgh.

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    2. The gas thing is a really big deal. I know that we had an ice storm and the power was out for a long time and the gas was the hardest thing because you can't get it out of the ground. Kids will never listen to us though...maybe next time he will remember!!!

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    3. From your mouth to his ears!

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  9. Oh Nathalie. I am just reading this now at 4 PM on Wednesday afternoon. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I echo Bless with her comment about Greg feeling conflicted right now. But I also agree with her that he was there for both his parents when they really needed him, and his dad was aware of his presence. That is truly the most important thing.

    Of course you have also been in my thoughts recently as Hurricane Matthew races towards the coast. Hopefully you and your family will be spared the full onslaught of the storm and will not suffer much damage or much more worry. You are as prepared as anyone could be. If you are able, please send out short communiques from time to time.

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    1. Thank you Susan. Greg is doing better today. He's come to terms with his dad's death and, as you said, he got to spend time with him almost right up until the end because his dad started getting loopy the evening before Greg left. He and his mom talked today and agreed that there really wasn't a reason for him to go back next week. She's very busy taking care of all the stuff that needs to be taken care of and there's nothing that he can do. His dad is being cremated and they'll have a ceremony at Thanksgiving at the end of November, although now that our son will have to be in school for the first 2 days of that week (storm make-up days), I don't know that they'll be able to go up at all. But his mom is doing alright too.

      And you are also right that I'm as prepared as I can be, although I keep on thinking that I'm neglecting something important. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry about something. Right now I'm relieved that Middle Son made it to his dad's OK and that we gassed up our cars and extra gas cans before the gas stations ran out of gas. Greg's only has half a tank because he didn't listen to me and gas up this morning (grrr) but mine and my daughter's are full. Now if we could only NOT have a big tree hit the cars or the house or take down our internet connection... lol.

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  10. I'm just reading this now, and I wanted to express my condolences as well. Having to deal with a death in the family plus preparing for an unpredictable hurricane is very stressful. At least the hurricane spared us "in the middle" and I'm hoping that Greg can go on and deal with the loss of his father. Please be sure to take care of yourself and Greg (you will both need it!).

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    1. Thanks so much. I put my foot in my mouth the other day when Greg's cell rang and it was closer to me so I looked at it and blurted out "your dad is call on you!" It was his mom but my brain automatically said "your dad" because that's who usually called. His phone's caller ID even said "mom". He gave me a weird look and I fell over myself apologizing. Oops.

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